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[america]

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[bloggings]

8/10 tbh

[america]

Well I guess it could be worse

Do I get a breakdown?

1/idefk

[doveriye]

( ﾟ∀ﾟ)ｱﾊﾊ八八ﾉヽﾉヽﾉヽﾉ ＼ / ＼/ ＼

[doveriye]

ヽ(´ー`)人(´∇｀)人(`Д´)ノ

[doveriye]

ｷﾀﾜァ*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･゜(n‘∀‘)ηﾟ･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･* !!!!!

[doveriye]

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

done

[doveriye]

:)

[someone's clearly bored]

wrecks this whole thing before it even starts (1/?)

[doveriye]

"Kinky fuckery?" I squeak. ... My inner goddess is down on bended knee with her hands clasped in supplication begging me. "I like your kinky fuckery," I whisper.

[doveriye]

My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five year old.

[doveriye]

Inside me! I gasp, and all the muscles deep in my belly clench. My inner goddess is doing the dance of the seven veils.

[doveriye]

"I don't make love ... I fuck ... hard"

[doveriye]

Jeez, he looks so freaking hot. My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.

I AM SO FUCKING DONE.

[doveriye]

My insides practically contort with potent, needy, liquid, desire.

[fatalem]

I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

[america]

Yeah ... you might want to delete those.

:)

[vdova]

is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

[america]

???

[abyssum_invocat]

[ From an unfamiliar, unlisted number with no name attached: ] Steve help the phone is possessed it keeps talking and calling itself Siri and it won't tell me where you are

it's buzzing how do I kill it

[america]

[ Important questions first! ]

Who is this?

[speedsters]

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

[america]

Living the dream, aren't you Barry?

So should I be asking what I'm listed as?

[ And more importantly, will he get the reference? (Assuming it's a good one.) ]

[brainsqueeze]

I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week

[america]

Well those are some priorities.

i mean. modified tfln but still perfect.

[revlon]

Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and... well.

hahahahaha so perf

[america]

Pegs ...

I'm trying not to laugh, I swear.

But ...

Are you feeling better?

[breakables]

so last night when i was suiting up pre mission -
accidentally left a souvenir between your couch cushions.
might wanna get that out of there before you bring a hot date over.

:)

[america]

I'm not at home at the moment.

Natasha ...

What exactly did you forget to pick up?

[ Also: hot date??? ]