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[america]

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[america]

???

[vdova]

well

[vdova]

that's what i get for putting you and barton next to one another in my phone

[america]

How am I anywhere near Clint Barton?

Never mind about whatever this text is about, which I really, really don't want to know ...

[vdova]

birdbrain goes before captain crunch
there's something i should have probably told you about james

[america]

Captain Crunch? ... Isn't that a cereal?

Okay.

Wait.

... No.

[vdova]

well i can't call you captain kangaroo that doesn't make any sense :|

[america]

No, you definitely can't ...

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with 'America'.

[vdova]

i think there's a lot wrong with america
the GOP for one
say yes to the dress for another

[america]

Can't forget Jersey Shore either.

And the gentrification in Brooklyn.

Also not what I meant.

[vdova]

excuse you jersey shore is quality programming
snookie is an asset to our lives

[america]

You know, that explains a lot.

[vdova]

about me??
i'm crushed :(( i thought you already knew about my deep abiding love for spray tans and ed hardy

[america]

Well I knew about it to some extent...

Glad to see everything else cleared up.

[vdova]

so you're alright with it then?

[america]

If you're referring to the spray tans, well I can't really stop you.

If you're referring to the beginning of this conversation ... well, I can't really stop you.

[vdova]

in fairness if i had known you were throwing up i would have stopped hooking up with your best friend
because you are MY best friend

oidshfdf aww what no, unexpected feelings ...

[america]

Well.

Thanks, Natasha. That actually means a lot.

Even if ... I'll never get that image out of my head.

just as planned

[vdova]

of you being my best friend? :(
kidding
you have to admit its a nice image to have
i mean james is an attractive man

u r cruel

[america]

I haven't noticed.

[ REALLY HE HASN'T. ]

Re: u r cruel

[vdova]

you haven't??

[america]

Well, I mean he's always been the better looking between the two of us, but I take it that's not exactly what you're implying, Natasha ...

[vdova]

i'm not asking if you've kissed your best friend rogers
for one that's none of my business
for two i'd rather not know if he's sloppy seconds

[america]

Wow, this ... conversation is definitely taking a different turn.

Or maybe it's taking the turn it meant to before I tried to veer it off course ...